This is a little bit more for laffs than anything... but I thought you all might enjoy it.

We will have some fish trivia, some fish jokes and some cute fish stories all intermixed to make you smile.
They will be Clean, updated often and filtered for the best enter-tank-ment.

We are also implementing some new rules for our trivia games to keep it fair and fun for all:
You can win only three times in any one day and once an answer is given, no member will be allowed to edit the reply. This is to avoid the possibility of cheating. Any member found editing will be disqualified from the contests.

Hope you have a TUN-A fun!


Fish Story #1


Pet Fish

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now.
The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.




First Question: Worth 25 cents....

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ?

Question number 2:
Some fish even have favorite movies: 25 cents to whomever can tell me the REEL titles

Marlin Rouge
Jurassic Carp
The Blair Fish Project
Pulp Fishin'
Silence of the Lemmings
Home Abalone
Forrest Guppy
Final Fintasy
A couple obvious ones that don't count... Jaws and Titanic

Fish Story #2

A man took weekend fishing trips twice a month. His wife got used to them, and was sure to have all of his things packed when he came home after work on Friday. After some months of the same routine, she became concerned as to whether or not he actually was going fishing, but without any proof she wasn't going to confront him. One Sunday evening after returning from his "fishing" weekend, he confronted his wife. "All I ask from you is that you have my things ready when I get home from work. And this weekend, you forgot to pack me any clean underwear. Do you have any idea how I feel wearing the same underwear for 3 days?" The wife defended herself, "I didn't forget to pack your clean underwear." He snapped back, "Well, I didn't have any when I got to the lake. Where'd you pack them, because they sure weren't in my suitcase." "No, " she replied, "this time I packed them in your tackle box."

Is the answer "The COD-father" ? (Godfather)

Jandi-fish ~~ You are Correct!
You can post or Pm your LR number to me and I will pay you your earnings at the end of the FUN.

I won??? I don't have a LibertyReserve yet but I'll wait till contest is over and maybe I will sign up for one by then. thank-you!

You are very Whalecome!
Hope it makes ya smile a bit




Fish Story #3

Two men rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.

1st man: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish.

2nd man: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot.

1st man: Oh NO! How do you know we'll get the same boat?

Marlin Rouge is Moulan Rouge
Jurassic Carp is Jurassic Park
The Blair Fish Project is The Blair Witch Project
Pulp Fishin' is Pulp Fiction
Silence of the Lemmings is Silence of the Lambs
Home Abalone is Home Alone
Forrest Guppy is Forrest Gump
Final Fintasy is Final Fantasy

Once again-- you GOT it!!
You deserve a big STARfish!!



Question number 3, again 25 cents: What fish is the most valuable?

OK, thank you again. I guess I should try for my limit of 3 answers today!

Is the most valuable fish a GOLDfish?

YES YES!!
You are one smart fish.... you must travel in the right 'school'








Fish Story #4

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. One day his nephew asked him how he did it. The man told his nephew that he would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. His nephew told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to his nephew and asked "Did you come out here to fish or to talk"?




Question number 4: Did you know that fish even have their own favorite celebrities?
25 cents for the first one to give me the REEL names of these celebs!

Cod Stewart
Prawn Connery
Mussel Crowe
Skate Moss
Shrimp Biscuit
Pike Lee
Nicole Squidman
Squid Rock
Kylie Minnow
Finnie Driver

Fish Story #5

Steve was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked,

"Whatcha doing, Steve?"

"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Steve patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

Cod Stewart - Rod Stewart
Prawn Connery - Sean Connery
Mussel Crowe - Russell Crowe
Skate Moss - Kate Moss
Shrimp Biscuit - Limp Bizkit
Pike Lee - Spike Lee
Nicole Squidman - Nicole Kidman
Squid Rock - Chris Rock
Kylie Minnow - Kylie Minogue
Finnie Driver - Minnie Driver

You got it! Whale done!!



Question number 5
What fish goes up the river at 100mph?

fish Story #5

David had awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."

A motor pike

U1612119

very very good, thebigone-who got away!!


Question number 6:
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?



Fish Story number 6:


A father and son went fishing one summer day. While they were out in their boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "Dad, how does this boat float?"

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son."

A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "Dad, how do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Dad, why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied, "Don't rightly know son."

Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."

here they goes..haha

In Finland

U1612119

You are doing just swimmingly well !!



Question number 7 and last one for a few hours:

What is the fastest fish in the sea?










Fish story number 7

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice.

The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice.

Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?''

The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

fastest species of fish is the Indo-Pacific Sailfish( Istiophorus platypterus)

U1612119

Hi Fishie, just thought i'd drop you a line...

Fastest fish in the sea....Go Carp

I think it is sailfish, but got another people answered this already.

Thanks for the line!!
you got it Hook line and sinker!!!

Question number 8

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?




fish Story number 8

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

Ok, so this is not exactly a fish story, but the boy did make a good catch.

Question number 9:

Why are you never hungry when fishing on the beach?






Fish story number 9

One day a man came home kinda late. His wife was a little peeved and asked him to explain. He said, "well you see Honey I went fishing and thought I would just do a little bank fishing, got my gear out of the car and walked aways to the water. I threw my line in and oh boy I pulled in a big catfish. I then found out I forgot to bring my
fish basket. So I just threw the catfish in back of me under a tree. I baited up again and in a little while I caught one of thoes ole dogfishes. I didn't want to put it back in the water so I threw it under the tree too. I baited up again and sat there waiting for my next catch. All of a sudden I heard such a noise and when I looked that dogfish and that catfish were in a fight and that dogfish chased the catfish up that tree and I had to sit there all day before I caught a swordfish to cut that tree down to get my catfish.

Damn



Because you know that later on you will eat your hard fished fishes

Question 8 = think majdi290 got that one....

Question 9 = Why are you never hungry when fishing on the beach?

Because of the sand which is there.

Oh soooo close....but not quite correct, on either....no shells for you-yet.

DAM ?

You got it.... 25 clams for you!!




Question number 8 BELONGS TO JANDIFISH!! Way to GO!


Question number 10 -- How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?




Fish Story #10

A blonde was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. She ran into one of her friends.

Her friend asked, "Hey! What do you have in the bag?"

She tells her friend that she has some fish in the bag.

The friend says, "Fish! Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one."

The blonde says, "I'll tell you what. If you tell me how many fish I have in this bag, I'll give you both of them."

Thank you!

#10: Because he went to the prawn shop and prawned all his belongings

WOW Jandi, the right answers are just bubblin' right out!

Question number 11:
What do you call a fish with no eyes?




Fish Story number 11:

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man." As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing."

A fsh

Cave FIsh?

Wow, I`m amazed at how clever our members are.

Such eFISHency.

This contest is end or the Global moderator is off to holiday?

What happens to fishie ?

Anyone from MMG stuff can explain ?

hahaha

something FISHy here

just kidding ;-)

You are under mistakes froom me: I think you have trow her out to the fishes!
Kidding

the fishes wouldn't eat fishie, because she is so sweet

LMTO (laff my tail off)
Curiosity Killed the Catfish ya know


I bet you thought I had


Or maybe i was here...just inFISHable





You are 100% correct!!
Whale done!

Next question will follow shortly!

Gotta go trolling for a few fish.... LOL



~~~~~~~~~~THESE Make some cool Waves ~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Question number 11:
What's the best way to catch a fish?





Fish Story number 11:

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping and fishing trip, when they came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook.

One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!"

The other replied, "No, it's not!"

The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side."

To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by its clover."

Be patient and the fish will come.

sorry, no dice fish
guess again

While you are being patient mollusking (mulling) over that one....
Here is question number 13:
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

Q 12 Answer : Have someone throw it at you.

Nice to see you again fishie ... i believe you gone fishing theses days

Answer 12 : have someone throw it at you
Answer 13 : whale of fortune

That's right!!!

25 shells for you!



Here is another clam for you to DIG up:
Question number 14:

What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?




You are ab-shell-ootly correct with both, but Madji got number 12 first!
Good to SEA you again too, simione!

A beer-a-cuda!

NICE! You got it!

Question number 15:

Where does seaweed look for a job?

Fish Story #12

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"

"You are on the other side," yells the other blonde.

In the kelp wanted ads.

btw ... good fish story

really awesome jokes ~fishie~ i can't stop from laughing

@ simione That is right !!!

Majdi are you laffing your tail off yet ?




Whale done once again simione!!

Question number 16:

Who held the baby octopus to ransome?


Fish Story #13:
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside of a monastery. A monk came out and invited the man inside to have dinner and to spend the night. The stranded motorist gladly accepted the monk's offer.

That evening the man had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, the man asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the chef replied, "I'm the chip monk."

Squidnappers