Feds Taking Over The World

The Federal Reserve Banks are slowly taking over the world. They already have the USA in their pocket, so to speak,
and are working to take over more of the globe. If you don't know what the privately owned Federal Reserve
Banks are then you should learn. These banks are where YOUR tax money goes....NO it is not owned by our government.
Every year around this time there is more to learn about these thieves who are stealing your money. Some have just
begun to admit that the IRS is not a legal branch of government and never has been. It is up to us as USA citizens to stop
them from this take over. There is NO LAW that says you have to pay an Income Tax, only codes. It's your duty to stop
"volunteering" to give them your hard earned money. Please look and listen to this video about the Feds.
If you think your tax dollars is helping this country, THINK AGAIN! Knowledge is power.

http://around-the-world-news.blogspot.com

The Oldest Blogger Is 108years Old...

If a woman this old can blog and get over 4000+ visits a day we all should

Want to see and hear what she has to say about blogging?

Click ----> Watch and hear the rest of this story...

Husbands In Wal-mart

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found
shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her
local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the
store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of Polident and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right
away."

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag
of M&M's on layaway.

5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring
pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

7. September 23: When a clerk asked if she could help him,
he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just
leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

And last, but not least:

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

Regards,

Wal-Mart

Bikini Waxing

Body Waxing
Everyone needs a good laugh every now and then.
And now is a good time!



All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,

painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the

wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. I drove home, fixed dinner,

played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in

my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out

of the medicine cabinet and try it."


So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those

"cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips

together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press

them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No

muss, no fuss. How hard can that be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am

mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)


So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other

stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so

I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"

yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it

tight and pull. It works!


OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward

body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.


With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak

back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I

drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side

of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching

down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)


I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the

strip. OH CRAP! Another deep breath and RIIIPPPP! Everything is spinning and

spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay

conscious.


Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.................. OK, OK I'm getting back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused

me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in

the glory that is my triumph over body hair.


I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the

hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am

touching wax.


I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now

covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG

mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I

need to do something. So I put my foot down.


Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and

think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to have a BM. My head may

pop off!"


What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can

stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax

should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???


*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - The water is slightly hotter than that used to

torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is

having them glued together and then stuck to the bottom of the tub...in

scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt the wax.


So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented

myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few

months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend,

thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get

me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and hoo-ha

are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"


There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal

but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly

where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown

and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.


YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through

various solutions, I let the water drain out. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . The part I can get to.

Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot

wax, glued shut, stuck to the bottom of the tub and then trying to

dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!


By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm

pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this

event.


My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving

grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

Ah Ha! I'm saved after all...I relax just a little.

What do I really have to lose at this point? So I rub some on,

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my

friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.


"IT WORKS!!

It works !!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs

up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my

grief and despair....


THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......Hey, what could go wrong with that?

Just A Laugh

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a T- shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She smacked me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl, Alt, Delete' and start all over?

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? \

Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Have a great day
Kowgirl