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A Few Jokes
Mzashboe
post Jun 6 2015, 02:48 PM
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Want to make fast cash click on link
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This post has been edited by BllAcKsHaDoW: Jan 22 2016, 09:07 PM
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kiomo
post Sep 3 2015, 02:48 PM
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QUOTE (Alilacan @ Jul 31 2014, 01:50 PM) *
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

lol
Funny funny biggrin.gif
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Roger Taylor
post Jan 22 2016, 03:10 PM
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those are some good jokes this is a pretty good joke book
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This post has been edited by BllAcKsHaDoW: Jan 22 2016, 09:03 PM
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ron.kotka
post Mar 21 2016, 12:00 AM
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QUOTE (realist @ Mar 16 2009, 08:01 AM) *
GREAT IN THE WATER
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along." So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After 75 lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel, and was hardly out of breath. He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" "No," she said, "I was a prostitute in Memphis but I worked both sides of the Mississippi."

RING
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."

AUDITOR
Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

MAGIC SHOW
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir," the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then, just tell my wife!"

SINGLES BARS
Q: How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A: At the circus, the clowns don't talk.


I have a good one for ya'll.

Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad tail, and would fight at he drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!" The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"
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redhammer
post Mar 26 2016, 11:33 AM
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very funny
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Jiiyo
post Apr 26 2016, 12:23 PM
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Hilarious . LOL!
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Martajobnet
post May 31 2016, 02:28 AM
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QUOTE (realist @ Mar 16 2009, 08:01 AM) *
GREAT IN THE WATER
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along." So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After 75 lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel, and was hardly out of breath. He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" "No," she said, "I was a prostitute in Memphis but I worked both sides of the Mississippi."

RING
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."

AUDITOR
Q: What's an auditor?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

MAGIC SHOW
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?" "I could tell you, sir," the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then, just tell my wife!"

SINGLES BARS
Q: How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A: At the circus, the clowns don't talk.



The first one is the best! rofl4.gif
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EarningsWhisper
post Jul 6 2016, 08:58 PM
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rotflmao.gif biggrin.gif
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Abrasax
post Jul 8 2016, 08:59 AM
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Q. In Jewish culture, when is a fetus considered to be a person?
A. When it graduates from medical school.


--------------------
Опять скрипит потёртое седло, И ветер холодит былую рану, Куда вас, сударь, к чёрту занесло, Неужто вам покой не по карману.
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JacobJohnson
post May 3 2017, 03:56 PM
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oh so funny was that
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penny128
post May 14 2017, 07:19 AM
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hahahahahaha omg
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AlinaLee
post May 15 2017, 05:18 AM
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Evolution of a trader
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