U.s. Government Bailouts Put Inc.

Sleigh Times News

SPECIAL EDITION

November 1, 2008 North Pole, Arctic $.50

U.S. Government Invest In PUT Inc.

By Jack Weddle
Staff Writer

The Sleigh Times News has learned from a source that the United States Government and PUT Inc. are in negotiations. According to the source the United States Government will invest Ten Trillion ($10,000,000,000,000.00) in preferred stock at 6% (six percent) interest.

PUT Inc. Chairman, James Snowball refused to comment.

The Sleigh Times News has also learned from a source in the energy department, that the vast majority of the loan is coming from domestic and foreign oil concerns.

PUT Inc. received an emergency loan in 1931 from the United States Government which forgave the debt. According to the source, the United States Government will not forgive this debt because of the vast holdings of PUT Inc..

PUT Inc. is privately held but is believed to hold dividend paying securities. PUT Inc. supplies Santa Claus with the presents under trees.

Santa's Reindeer In Foster Care

Sleigh Times News

SPECIAL EDITION

October 30, 2008 North Pole, Arctic $.50

Santa Might Have To Truck It

By Jack Weddle
Staff Writer

XMASVILLE ~ Today the Xmasville animal control confirmed the report that Kris Kringle failed to pay the reindeer tax on Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen. The reindeer are now in foster care until the tax is paid.

Rudolph is not among the confiscated reindeer. Rudolph’s tax is paid by a trust setup by his late friend the dentist.

When asked about the failure to pay the reindeer tax Santa stated “ This year has been hard, my sleigh has been repossessed, I’ve had to layoff 346 elf’s and I’ve had to hock my red suite.”

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